FALSE ALARM!

HAHA...so I called my dear friend Haley tonight to talk and her first words were, "What are you doing? Are you engaged?" She asked it with much anticipation, too! My response, "FALSE ALARM!" It made me laugh out loud though.

That seems to be my response all the time now. "No, I'm not engaged yet." "No, I didn't get a ring for Christmas." "Yes, I am still looking for a job. No, I haven't found one yet." "No, not yet. No, I don't know when." "No, No, No."

Maybe it's because I work at a small place (only 600 employees) or maybe it's because I am very open and will tell anyone and everyone about "my" Austin. In fact, someone today said, "Austin, Austin, Austin...that's all you ever talk about." My boss always rolls his eyes when someone asks how we're doing. Then he says, "THANKS A LOT for getting her started." Maybe I talk about him so much because I don't get to see him often. I mean, there is the quote, "Time away makes the heart grow fonder," but then there's also, "Out of sight, out of mind!" Maybe it helps me cope during the four weeks that I don't get to see him to talk about him. HAHA! At least I haven't resorted to comfort food yet, i.e. ice cream, chocolate, Dr. Pepper, etc.

My favorite thing is when I notice people glancing at my left hand during conversation. This happens quite frequently these days and I've gotten good at spotting it. Thankfully, people fess up to it when I say, "Did you just look at my finger?" HAHA! Or people will just straight ask,
"Show me that hand!" I've kept a great attitude and some how manage to chuckle about it with whoever asks. But, I feel very pressured sometimes. Not in a bad way, just in a way that makes me inpatient. A week ago my family met Austin in Houston for a boat show. I didn't tell many people because I didn't want to have to go through the whole process all over again when I returned home "empty handed."

Don't get me wrong. It makes me feel loved when people ask because I genuinely feel they are interested. I just struggle with inpatience sometimes. It's been almost 7 months since Austin left and I have clung to one scripture the entire time. "Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." That's Psalm 27:14. The Sunday Austin moved the sermon (which I sat through teary eyed) was on waiting on the Lord. It was really good and one of those sermons you don't want to hear because you don't want to deal with what is going on. In fact, when I saw the sermon notes on the back of the bulletin I thought, "Oh thanks a lot." Thankfully, the Lord really tugged on my heart that day for me to DEAL WITH IT and has given me the strength to do so. I know in my life I will face challenges far greater than this. I also know that He will never leave me nor forsake me and I am so thankful for that. The very next day I saw my pastor at the gym and he once again said, "Wait on the Lord."

So, my friends I'm learning that GOOD THINGS ARE WORTH WAITING FOR! This time away from Austin has been so great in the development of our relationship for so many reasons. I am very eager, not so much for the engagment/wedding part, but for the part that will come after "I do."

The time away from Austin makes those brief moments we are together so WONDERFUL! When we went to Houston we all went to the zoo. Mainly because I think it was hard for my dad to make me say bye to Austin early Sunday morning, so he wanted to delay it a little. (Thanks, Dad!) Typically I don't like the zoo. I don't enjoy looking at animals because it's always the SAME ONES. I mean, how often can you look at an elephant and think, "Wow, that's the coolest thing ever!" To me when you've seen one elephant you've seen them all! But, experiencing the zoo with Austin for the first time was WONDERFUL...I think I could probably sit down to read an encyclopedia (BORING), but as long as he was by my side I would think it was the best thing ever.

HAHA...the great news at the end of this WAY TOO LONG blog is that I get to see Austin in three days...

~Mel~

p.s. Thanks Haley for making my night and making me laugh. Even 10 hours away you still make me laugh most!!!!